The Pedometer app that encourages you to slow down
- What is S.L.O.T.H.
- What does S.L.O.T.H. do?
- What's different about S.L.O.T.H.
S.L.O.T.H. is an extremely accurate pedometer app, with one essential difference:
S.L.O.T.H. encourages you to slow down, stop overexerting yourself and to simply relax.
Aren’t you tired of the countless messages that berate you for not attaining ever increasing and impossible goals? Aren’t you exhausted with pleas for you to get off the bus one stop before your exit, park farther away and to use the stairs instead of the elevator?
S.L.O.T.H. helps you to make sleep, rest, relaxation, and napping part of your daily life, so that these delights no longer need be held in reserve for your next vacation. S.L.O.T.H. lets you know how far you have traveled, without screaming at you to surpass that distance the next time.
You know how it works. Walk a quarter mile, and they want you to walk a half-mile the next time. Achieve that, and the new goal is a full mile! Will this madness ever end?
How much more satisfying it is to have an app that congratulates you for not forcing yourself to reach highly arbitrary objectives.
S.L.O.T.H. encourages you every step of the way…
so that you do not feel compelled to go every step of the way.
S.L.O.T.H. is a pedometer that accurately measures every step you take, so you can easily determine how much distance you have covered. No calculations, no guessing, no fancy math tricks. S.L.O.T.H. measures the motion of your body so you will see exactly how many total steps you have taken every day. S.L.O.T.H. resets itself automatically back to zero every midnight, ready to start counting your steps again. For those into this whole counting craze (measuring carbs, calories, fats, push ups, time to the next solar eclipse, and so on) then the S.L.O.T.H. pedometer is just the thing!
The difference between S.L.O.T.H. and an ordinary pedometer app is the difference between a marine drill sergeant, a nagging spouse, and a helpful, encouraging, rational friend.
S.L.O.T.H. will accurately measure your total daily footsteps, counting each stride and providing you with a reliable record. You will find this easier, more accurate, and less annoying to your neighbors than the older technique of counting each step aloud as you walked.
S.L.O.T.H. Is programmed to help you to minimize the risks of going too fast, too far and too often. Cautionary messages for you to slow up, relax and not to overdo it appear as needed.
Take a break alert
Should you ignore repeated reminders that you may be overdoing it, S.L.O.T.H. will recommend you take a break, sit down, and think the whole thing over.
S.L.O.T.H. is not here to judge why you feel compelled to increase your pulse rate, or wear clothing you have last worn in fifth grade gym class. Rather, in a pleasant, friendly manner, S.L.O.T.H. will show the error of your ways. As S.L.O.T.H. points out, if you stop now, your sneakers will last much longer.
You know how important it is to get the proper amount of sleep, but often you have no way of knowing exactly how much sleep you are actually getting.
So here is how to use S.L.O.T.H. for keeping track of your sleeping patterns. And because we are who we are, there is no additional in-app purchase required.
1. Open the S.L.O.T.H. app.
2. Look at your bedside clock, or a watch
3. Write down the time
4. Go to sleep
5. When you wake up, turn off the S.L.O.T.H. app
6. Look again at your clock, or your watch
7. Write down the time
8. The difference between the first number that you wrote down and the second number is precisely how long you have been asleep.
As soon as S.L.O.T.H. senses you are reverting to old fast-paced habits, or attempting to surpass previous goals, you will get an impossible-to-ignore reminder to throttle back and put your feet up. Remember, perspiration is not a sign of healthful activity. It is a sign of sweating.
Famous names, from Neil Armstrong to Bill Murray to President Reagan, will share their thoughts on the benefits of slowing down. As Mark Twain said, “When I feel like exercising, I just lie down till the feeling goes away.”
Are you just kidding me?
Yes and no. Walking and jogging and running can be wonderful activities. But feeling you are a failure because you didn’t exceed yesterday’s goals, or pushing yourself past your comfort zone is not necessarily a good thing. Slowing down, looking around, actually noticing where you are instead of rushing from place to place is what your goal should be. We are not suggesting, as the cliché has it, that you stop and smell the roses, especially if you are allergic, but we do prefer casual strolls and dawdling to going the extra mile.
Why is the name of the app S.L.O.T.H.?
Everyone knows the fable of the tortoise and the hare. (A hare makes fun of the slow-moving tortoise. The hare is then challenged by the tortoise to a race. The hare soon outruns the tortoise but is so confident of winning that he takes a nap midway through the race. However, when the hare awakens, he finds that his competitor, the tortoise, by crawling slowly but steadily, has gotten to the finish line first.)
Unfortunately, the original version, titled The Sloth And The Gazelle, has been lost to history and so is less well known. Why has this happened? Is it because rabbits are just naturally cuter than sloths? That gazelles have a weaker PR person? That hares have a larger social media presence? That tortoise is a lot more interesting to spell than sloth? No matter, be it sloth, tortoise, turtle, the moral is the same; Slow down. Relax. And buy the app.
Is S.L.O.T.H. right for you?
There is currently no totally reliable method for determining if you and S.L.O.T.H. are meant to be lifelong friends. But there is a simple six-question preference test you can take to help you see if your activity levels make you the type of person that will get the full benefits from S.L.O.T.H.
Would you prefer:
A) Napping or B) climbing to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro
C) Running around outdoors in baggy shorts and white socks, or D) dozing
E) Being drenched in sweat or F) downing a cool beverage
G) watching people in far better shape do far more reps, or H) watching the latest movie
I) To mold your body or J) unmold some Jello shots
K) counting sit-ups or L) counting sheep
Would you rather have your pulse rate increased by:
M) six hours on a treadmill or N) a date with Heidi Klum/Brad Pitt
If you answered a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m, or n – then yes S.L.O.T.H. is perfect for you!
Does a Sloth make a good pet?
While sloths are generally less exciting than goldfish, owning one does have its own charms. Sloths are clean, quiet and only have to be walked once a week. Well, more accurately, walking one takes about a week.